Things I learned this weekend at a wedding in Kenansville:

1. My former classmates are not afraid of cosmetic surgery and I can actually say they look fabulous as a result. (I'm still not for it but now I know it does work!)

2. Never congratulate someone on their upcoming wedding unless you have seen the engagement ring or heard from THEIR mouth that it is a sure thing. This is not the time to rely on the grapevine news. (It is pretty embarassing when they yell, "I'm not getting married!"

3. In smalls towns, when people ask, "What are you doing now?" don't feel you need to give them a detailed answer. They already have heard from their best friend's mother who ran into your mom at the grocery two months ago. This is just polite conversation to keep things going smoothly.

4. Little boys and girls grow up into men and women. You won't recognize the kid you babysat for six years and other people won't know who you are. It isn't that big of a deal.

5. Definitely sit with the couple at the table by themselves when trying to pick the "lesser evil". They will be a lot more motivated to make conversation because they probably don't know anyone else and you could really like them. (I met two real gems!)

6. Pick up where you left off with people. It is easier that way instead of feeling akward because you haven't talked in ten years. Unless, of course, you left off badly with someone. That's when you just pretend you forgot everything because it was SOOOO long ago and chat them up anyway.

7. I would rather have someone be sugary sweet to my face and then talk about me once I leave than to have them be obviously rude and mean in my presence. It may be a Southern thing but it HAS to be so much more civilized. In the past, I have been critical of the "Smile even if you are doing it through gritted teeth" mentality but I have decided that if someone is really going to be that pointedly offensive in front of you, they will badmouth you, too. I'd prefer not to have to deal with other people's poison. Some people say that Southern way is lying but I beg to differ...That sugary sweet stuff doesn't really fool anyone. You know if you are hated or adored. Once again, it makes the social situations easier.